Throwback Tuesdays and Throwback Thursdays are gonna be things I wrote about a year ago but my goals and the way I saw the world were different than they are now so the focus is gonna be something else entirely:
Around 10:50 AM, 07/26/2011
I'm looking for art and beauty and truth. Truth most of all but I think they all may be the same thing. Or possibly and very probably, at least closely related to each other. But I really don't know yet.
10:56 AM, same day
Upon slightly further reflection, I think there's a very real chance that I may lose my sanity on this journey. That scares me a little but nothing ventured, nothing gained. What a waste the loss of my sanity and my talents would be. I'm going to start reading and writing and see where that takes me.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
The smell of rotting homeless people invades the train. I clutch my pocket knife through my jeans, bcuz I never know when the PCP will kick in and I may have to defend myself. Homeless people are notoriously hard to kill bcuz of their higher than average consumption of preservatives in their diet of vending machine honey buns and diet Fanta. So I have to watch my back and keep my head low, never meeting their gaze. Cool kids just stand the entire way but since they're on that GED track, they can travel light. You develop certain defense mechanisms to decrease the probability of a confrontation. You buy yourself a pair of headphones to block out what random people may or may not be saying about you. You learn to turn your music up a little higher. Bass becomes your new best friend. A dark pair of sunglasses doesn't hurt either, even if they make you look like a douche at night. You become a master of the non-committal, detached, stare for when you've been looking at the floor for far too long and need to make eye contact with someone, anyone. Shallow, quiet breaths become your default to avoid breathing too much of someone else's air; who knows what their lungs were breathing last night on the floor of some abandoned warehouse in Overtown? Chewing gum loudly with your mouth open is the finishing touch. This will keep most people from sitting next to you (without sacrificing your dignity) even if there are lots of people standing and it's the only open seat left.